Thursday, September 18, 2008

Jury Duty

How many of you out there have had to serve on jury duty? This was my first time. The first thing that came to mind was "how do I get out of this?" Not very patriotic of me is it? I did get it delayed because it was the same time our first IVF was scheduled, but it showed up again for this week.

I was not looking forward to juggling work and sitting in the courthouse all day. First let me say, my husband is a POLICE OFFICER!! Hello!!! What attorney wants me on their jury? Needless to say, I showed up everyday to be excused for the trials each and every day. At the end of the week even the judge knew me by name!! Oh well, I am excused for serving on Circuit Court jury for at least three years.

It was kind of interesting to see the "other side" of our justice system, different than the one I hear about and see at home. It would have been very difficult for me to have been impartial, but I would have tried.

Work has picked up again, mortgage rates dropped so we are having more refinances and purchases being scheduled. It helps my days go by faster alot less time to think about the things I want but dont have.

After leaving church this morning we were talking about the sermon that Pastor Ralph gave regarding that our goal in life should to be the determination on the race/game of building our relationship with God. That we should concentrate on the things in front of us and focus on winning. Of course, this is my interpretation of what was said, but that basically that this is the only "race" that matters. That when the day comes that we are standing in front of the Pearly Gates how do we stand according to the relationship with our Father as compared to how we wanted it to be?

Although our loss of Walker and our infertility has caused me to venture down some paths literally and figuratively that I would not be proud to share, but they have caused me to TALK to God more. To ask for his guidance and assistance. I understand that there are things that I want, that I will never have. What I do need to learn to do more is to lean on God's way. We need to stop thinking for what we want and instead, listen to what God is leading us to. What He wants for us. He is all we need, we need to lean on Him and give ourselves over to Him completely, not partially. Not when we are desperate for what we want from Him, but ALWAYS.

I am struggling with all of this emotionally, physically and spiritually. I am recoginizing along this very long road of turmoil that we will be okay. When or how, I have not been able to understand, but am learning the only way is to have Faith.


sara said...

I'm sorry about your dog- I'm a huge dog lover myself and I'll keep yours in my thoughts and prayers.

I Believe in Miracles said...

What a beautiful post. Sometimes it is so hard to have faith and wonder what on earth God is doing; but it is reassuring to know He is in control and all we need is Him.