Friday, February 19, 2010

A Giveaway

Not mine, but check out my friend Kelley here.

Be quick since I think she is drawing today! I was a little slow on the relay:-)

Have a great weekend.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Wondering about the What

It is really hard for me some days to not wonder about what our (Jeff and I) lives would be like if Walker was still here. I try not to tortue myself with it as much as in the beginning of life without him, but nonetheless I still do. What would my life be like with an almost 4 year old?

This past weekend we were invited to join some friends at some of their friends house. (hey lips:-)) It was great to meet new people and enjoy a snowy sunny day in the South with all these great couples, oh yea and all their kids. As you know, I normally avoid these types of situations because I never know how well I will react or interact.

This is how I know I have grown and healed some since losing Walker. There were two little boys there who were very close in age to where Walker should be, one was 4 in October and one will be 4 in a week or so. In addition, there was an older child whose name was.....WALKER. I caught my breathe and my heart skipped a beat everytime his mom said his name. Several times I had to control my breathing and the tears that were on the verge of falling down my face, but I survived and I am a stronger mother of a child in heaven because of the experience.

Even a year ago I could not have enjoyed that day. Not a chance!! Although, I missed my little man and the opportunity to see him run and play in the snow with the other kids, I enjoyed myself. It was nice to be welcomed into a circle of friends who are basic strangers to us. It was nice to learn that the broken spots inside my body have healed enough that I won't shatter to pieces if I am sad. It was nice to know that I actually can be happy and sad all at the same time and not feel guilty about it.

It doesnt stop me wondering what life would be like if he was here, but it helped me acknowledge that life does go on either way.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

How to Clean your Face with Oil

It sounds pretty counter-productive doesn't it? I have been trying to be more focused on saving money, creating less waste and living a little more green. Now, I made my own homemade laundry soap even though Jeff said it wouldn't save us that much money. I have always had sensitive skin and have been unable to use alot of different products without breaking out in a rash or developing welts. This was no exception.

I bought all the stuff and spent the afternoon cleaning buckets to store my homemade laundry soap in, while my concoction was cooking and resting. It was a fairly easy process and made ALOT of soap. I was determined to use all of it before we decided whether it was worth it or not. Well, about 6 loads later my skin decided for me. Rashes, welts and really itchy spots developed and all my hardwork and good intentions went down the drain, literally!!

So in purusing the internet for new ideas I found this website (most mom sites are the best since they have lots of reasons to save extra money). An interestng concept, but again my skin is very fickle and doesn't like change.

Anybody use this cleansing process or interested in trying?

Friday, February 12, 2010

The Whys

When anything happens in our lives and we don't have a clear understanding it seems the first question is always "Why?" Or as most times in my life "Why me?" Espically after losing Walker. For months, maybe even now as we approach his 4th birthday in April. WHY? WHY? WHY US? WHY WALKER?

Maybe it is a coping mechanism or just a selfish way of getting through life with its unexpected twists and turns. I can assure you that while I never wished it on anybody else, I did on many occasions wish it wasn't us/him. Which in turn says why not somebody else? I found many ways to justify it in my mind why that was acceptable.

What is bigger than all that this is the fact that IT doesn't have anything to do with us. We are never in control and have no say in the big picture of our lives. The only choice we have is do we believe God is our Saviour or don't we. Once you have made your only true choice in life, the rest is out of your hands.

I recently read a post by another couple (much more famous than us, if you listen to Christian music) who lost their son when he was 2 months old. They have dealt with several miscarriages and trials with fertility since. He asked a question on his blog, "Why not us?" Which is what Jeff asked me on several occasions when I was ranting and raving and crying my eyes off. Why not us?

Well, my reaction is because he was our baby and it wasn't supposed to be this way. To say life has been "easy" since would be a HUGE understatement. Everything that happens good or bad, it has makes me question. I feel most time that I am walking on nails, because I can't just relax. But, Jeff and I have made it through to the other side, together. There are so many families that go through this type of tragedy that end up divorced with broken families if they have remaining children. Maybe God picked us because he knew we would lean on each other, help each other, learn to accept the differences in grieving and appreciate that person on a whole different level.

I would be lying to say that I still wouldn't have wanted this happen EVER,  just so I could have realized some of those things about the strength of my husband and marriage. I could have just assumed those things and prayed they were there when I would have needed them. I would rather have my son back, period.

"Silly. Foolish. Shallow. Unaware of this reality: Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. (1 Peter 4:12)" to read more click here.

It is an interesting perspective on why and why not. How has your life been affected that you can turn that why into a why not?

Monday, February 1, 2010

They are really good!!

YUMMM! Usually when I make them with Oatmeal they are dry, these are not. Enjoy!!!

Chewy Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Cookies

Original Recipe Yield 3 1/2 dozen


1 cup butter, softened

1 cup packed light brown sugar

1/2 cup white sugar

2 eggs

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon salt

3 cups quick-cooking oats

1 cup chopped walnuts

1 cup semisweet chocolate chips


1.Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).

2.In a large bowl, cream together the butter, brown sugar, and white sugar until smooth. Beat in eggs one at a time, then stir in vanilla. Combine the flour, baking soda, and salt; stir into the creamed mixture until just blended. Mix in the quick oats, walnuts, and chocolate chips. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets.

3.Bake for 12 minutes in the preheated oven. Allow cookies to cool on baking sheet for 5 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.

Nutritional Information

Amount Per Serving Calories: 145
Total Fat: 8.1g
Cholesterol: 22mg

Nutritional InformationChewy Chocolate Chip Oatmeal CookiesServings Per Recipe: 42

Amount Per Serving

Calories: 145

Total Fat: 8.1gCholesterol: 22mgSodium: 107mgTotal Carbs: 17.2g Dietary Fiber: 1.1gProtein: 2.1gVIEW DETAILED NUTRITION