Thursday, July 30, 2009

Interior Design

We have been working on so many projects on our house for the last few years. It is basically all new, which can be good or bad. That depends on what your style is. I dont really have a style. I like what I like.

I search creative websites on how to use what you have and reuse. How to find bargains and reuse, etc. My husband hates my "ideas".

Here is a website that I love to follow: and her new store she has:

Happy decorating!!!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Northern Michigan

We planned on spending the week in Michigan, but ended up coming a few days early. My dad has had a couple mini-strokes and ended up in the hospital for cartoid artery surgery. His artery was 99% blocked, thankfully they did the surgery quickly. We made it here a few hours before the surgery after driving all through the night. He came through the surgery and he is home and feeling ok. Thank goodness he had the symptoms before a major stroke happened. God was sitting on his shoulder.

We spent the weekend in Torch Lake with my roommates from college and took my niece to play with all of the kids. Torch Lake is supposed to be one of the most beautiful lake in the country. It was absolutely beautiful there.

Here are all of us girls, chillin by the water.

At the end of a beautiful day. It didnt rain where we were, but it must have rained on the other side of the lake with this beautiful rainbow.

Our last night at the campfire. It was a beautiful weekend with great friends and family. There is no place better to be in the summer than northern Michigan.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to me! The last year of being in my 30's!! Whew, were has the time gone.

The last three years I have "gotten through." It is really all I could manage. Each day I would say today was going to be the day I started to really live again. That day will never come, I will never live again like I did when my son was alive. Now I live with a hole in my heart that will always be there.

What I hope for in the next year while I am still young and in my 30's (:-)) is that I can accept what I do have each day. Try not to live in the past and hope for something in the future. Just live that day to its fullest. It will not be easy, there are so many things I miss and regret that I dont have, hope for still.

My struggle with God still battles inside my head and heart. My hopes are that although I think he is a cruel God for the things I have had to deal with, I hope that what he is needing me to know/learn will soon be evident to me. That the lesson that is there for me can someday be used to help somebody else that is in pain like I have been.

Happy Birthday to me!!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Terribly Unexciting

There is NOTHING exciting going on around here. We are doing ALOT of home improvements to get ready for a couples wedding shower on August 8th. It is great for me because hubby has to do all the projects small and large that I have wanted done for months (years some).

To give you an update of what is going on with increasing the size of our family....nothing. We have decided to do nothing. We will not be doing any more fertility treatments, no DSS foster/adopt and no private adoption. We will be trying to accept that the life we currently have is the life we will have always.

I have decided for me that the emotional rollercoaster of adding to our family is too much for me. If we are meant to have more children, then they will have to drop into our lap, literally. If there is a child or newborn out there that finds their way to us ,who knows through what route, we will consider adopting. Only by the grace of God will I ever get pregnant again. (very unlikely)

On that note, I am still pretty angry at God on where I am with all of this Walker, baby, pregnancy disappointment. I have not really worked out where it all fits in to my life right now. I joke that I have boycotted God. Honestly, I am not really joking. My feelings on all that are so jumbled and selfish that there is no point in trying to explain them, because I have a tendency to go in circles.

For those of you whose faith is still strong and intact, please pray for me (us) because I just don't have it in me to do it anymore.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Happy 4th of July!

God Bless all the men and women who serve this country to keep us free and safe. To all the men and women who serve and protect us everyday.

To my husband, thank you for doing what you love even though it is a very unappreciated and thankless job. I love you and am very proud of you.

(thank you for standing there while I took your picture:-))

Friday, July 3, 2009

What a Great Town!

Nashville~what a great town! I met one of my roommates from college there with some of her fellow doctors for an optemetric conference. They flew in a couple days early to hang out and see the city. I drove (5 1/2 hours) to meet them. We had a blast and saw a couple of hopeful up and coming bands.

Here is my past roomie: Dr. Kari and me

The whole group of us on our first stop of the night.
The Stage, Nashville TN.

One of the up and coming bands.

One of the hopefuls - Cop.elan.d and me at The Stage. Check out his band, he has a single out and an album in August.

Last, but not least my new boots!!! I love them. They are Luchesse Anteater boots. I have only gotten the chance to wear them around the house, but I am very excited about them.

Unfortunately, I dont have the pictures on my camera but the other up and coming band/artist is Jason Jones. He just signed a big contract. I will get to say I saw him when.

If you want a great weekend with a lot of live music visit Nashville. It was great.

Nashville~what an amazing town!