Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Treatments, which kind you ask? There are so many I am going through now. I am still seeing the acupunturist weekly, it relaxs me and seems that it is helping with my levels. Specifically, my FSH dropped over 3 points, below 9 so back within the "normal" range. Last week, I started seeing a hypnotherapist. Yes, I have now been hypnotized.

It is not ANYTHING like I thought it would be. It was a very, very relaxed state. I heard everything she said to me, remember it all and tried fighting it the whole time. Hopefully my subconscious has soaked it all in and can work on my "issues" without me even knowing.

The RE office, well there are some things going on. There is nothing to report at this time, but hopefully there will be some developments soon.

We went to the DSS (department of social services) Orientation on Foster/Adoption last night. WOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! If birth parents had to make even a portion of the effort that we will have to go through to adopt a child the world would be a MUCH better place. Obviously, they need to ensure that these kids have a second opportunity to a good life. A life that does not involve living in fear, stress, disappointment, agony, etc.

The stories we heard were very sad and we didn't even touch the tip of the iceberg. We still have some things to discuss and decide before we move forward. Hopefully, we can give a needy child a wonderful home.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ready, Set, GO!!

We have made a decision on what we want to do next in regards to our (in)fertility journey. I am not ready to go into all the details quite yet. I have become a little superstitous throughout this whole process and prefer to keep everything close to the vest, for now.

Please though if you could all do us one HUGE favor and pray for us over the next weeks/month. We would greatly appreciate knowing that there are extra peeps out there praying for us to get and stay PG.

"So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded, you need to perservere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." Heb 10:35-36

Thanks be to God.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wordless Wednesday (or Not)

I have been crazy busy lately, but nothing of great excitement. We had some friends in town for a couple days with their two kids, 8 and 9 and an 8 week old chocolate lab puppy. We are not used to that much excitement in our house. It made us wonder if we were really ready to have that in our life. YES we are!!!

So I have asked for prayer and guidaince on some things that have been going on. On March 3rd, we secretively had our FET (frozen embryo transfer). Unfortunately, it didn't stay. We were pregnant for 1 week. Just like before, I wish we would have just gotten a negative, but that tiny bit of hope just tears you apart. We thought it was gonna be different, we thought the odds increased when the one embryo thawed perfectly. But nope, another loss.

That being said, what do we do next? It has not stopped us from wanting a baby!! Our baby!! Unfortunately, that means going through IVF one more time. The money, the shots, the emotions, the bruising, the emotions (did I mention the emotions?).

Now I am back on the decision roller coaster. WHAT DO WE DO????

Our saving account was pretty drained from last time, we got to write a nice check to the wonderful IRS, our basement is still not finished and another IVF??? It feels a little irresponsible to spend that much money in this economy, but time is not on my almost 39 year old self. Am I being selfish? am I being stupid? am I ever going to be a mom again??

Please pray for some guidance and lots of fertile eggs!!!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Happy Birthday Walker

Today April 5th you would have been 3 years old. We waited for you for so long and you were amazing. We couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby. I could sit down and write about you for pages and pages, but physically and emotionally it is more than I can handle.

Below is the first time I saw you. I thought you looked perfect even though you looked pissed. We rested assured that your lungs worked perfectly.

We miss you every second of every day angel boy. We know your birthday in heaven was better than anything we can imagine here on earth.

We love you Walker!!!!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Wordless Walker Wednesday

Five Weeks Old