Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Wordless Wednesday (or Not)

I have been crazy busy lately, but nothing of great excitement. We had some friends in town for a couple days with their two kids, 8 and 9 and an 8 week old chocolate lab puppy. We are not used to that much excitement in our house. It made us wonder if we were really ready to have that in our life. YES we are!!!

So I have asked for prayer and guidaince on some things that have been going on. On March 3rd, we secretively had our FET (frozen embryo transfer). Unfortunately, it didn't stay. We were pregnant for 1 week. Just like before, I wish we would have just gotten a negative, but that tiny bit of hope just tears you apart. We thought it was gonna be different, we thought the odds increased when the one embryo thawed perfectly. But nope, another loss.

That being said, what do we do next? It has not stopped us from wanting a baby!! Our baby!! Unfortunately, that means going through IVF one more time. The money, the shots, the emotions, the bruising, the emotions (did I mention the emotions?).

Now I am back on the decision roller coaster. WHAT DO WE DO????

Our saving account was pretty drained from last time, we got to write a nice check to the wonderful IRS, our basement is still not finished and another IVF??? It feels a little irresponsible to spend that much money in this economy, but time is not on my almost 39 year old self. Am I being selfish? am I being stupid? am I ever going to be a mom again??

Please pray for some guidance and lots of fertile eggs!!!


Lee-Ellen said...

saying big prayers for you guys!

daniella said...

Of course you're not being selfish!!!! You have that desire in your heart for a reason. And you're not "old" at all; my mom had her last kid at 43. And need I mention Sarah and Abraham?

I'll be praying for you.

Dani said...

You're not selfish at all! God has given you that desire for a reason and I have faith that it will be fulfilled. I am praying for you!


Shinejil said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Give yourself a bit of time; it's really hard to make big decisions in the midst of heartbreak.

babyinterrupted said...

I'm so sorry about your loss. I've had the same experience this week and it's been devastating for me. I hope you're able to take care of yourself and take some time to make the next decision. Peace to you. (LFCA)

Lorza said...

I am so sorry Dani! I personally don't think you are being selfish at all! I think it just sucks that you are in this position. Good luck girl- and sending you lots of {{HUGS}}


I Believe in Miracles said...

I'm so sorry. Praying for you.

sara said...

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my last post. I am so sorry for the loss of your child. I am new to your blog and my heart aches for what you have been through. I hope something works out soon for you and your family. I have gotten some very good news over the last day or so with regards to surrogacy and MI. I'll write about it more, but long story definitely sounds do - able. Mainly the laws where the child is born dictates which surrogacy laws apply. That being said, we're even going forward with things even though the child will be born in MI. So if you need any help - please shoot me an email or comment and I'd be more than happy to help say what was helpful to us. Thanks again I'm wishing you nothing but the best!