Things have been crazy around here lately. Work has been nonstop this past week, seems like I have been working 24/7. I got sucked in to Facebook and spend alot of time surfing there. I knew better than to sign up for something else that requires my time, something would suffer. Sorry it has been by blog.
We had our annual Superbowl party, it is our 4th year. We had a smaller turnout this year, which was nice since I was able to socialize a little more. One of the conversations I had throughout the night was about losing Walker. She lost a child at 20 weeks gestation. Her water broke and it was determined to be a bacteria infection, strep B. They also lost a little boy. It has been 10 years and she struggles with her loss daily. She is terrified of getting pregnant again and losing another child.
It makes me sad to listen to other peoples stories of loss. It is amazing to me that it is almost always some of the same feelings that I have. I am not terrified of being pregnant again, but terrified of putting a baby to sleep in a crib and walking away. How do you over come that paralyzing fear, how do you trust 100% that it will turn out differently, how will I ever get another wink of sleep for standing over a child with my hand on their chest to feel for their every breath?
Loss, no matter how it happens affects you to your core. You will never be the same person again.
Monday, February 2, 2009
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